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And that's how I found myself on Tinder one bored night with a bowl of frozen carrots and yucky yoghurt dip (ice-cream is for the movies. Reality is composed of slow metabolism and calories that appear to multiply like clostridium Hartford City IN perfringens) and a friend who had taken the night away from motherhood to remind herself that despite all of its incoherent grunts, nose hair-singeing farts and other general disgustingness, marriage was better than internet dating. Spoiler alert: The carrots and yucky dip were the best part of the night.
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